I’m one of those people. The ones who will decide to do something and then hang onto it, nail and tooth, even if they’re not enjoying it anymore. I believe I’ve touched on it before here on my blog – I don’t just say A, I will also say B. And sometimes even C. When I ask myself why, the answer is that I’ve been taught not to quit. My parents have always been pretty awful about letting their children quit things, and as such I’ve always had to have a really good explanation as to why I didn’t want to do something anymore. Whether it was quitting handball, quitting a friendship or even quitting school. While it has certainly taught me something about persisting, it has also begun to stop me from trying new things. If I don’t see myself being pretty good at something in the beginning, I tend not to like doing it, but if I want to quit again, I’d have to have a better reason than “I’m no good at this”. So instead of trying, I’ll just steer clear of it – then I won’t have to feel like a failure for giving up.
While this all sounds very serious, it has been brought on by something much less serious! I decided (weeks ago) to give up on A Doll A Week. It was fun, but sickness and stress has kept me from doing it every week, and it was causing a feeling of guilt in me that I wasn’t keeping up. And it was one of those things where I could actually find a pretty good reason to quit: My hobby isn’t supposed to stress me out!
But while I was discussing with myself whether to give up or not, I suddenly realised that I don’t have to answer to my parents anymore – at least not when it comes to a hobby (with my parents, things like school and job is another matter entirely). I don’t even have to justify it to my husband. I just have to ask myself if I’m giving up for a good reason, or if I’m merely being lazy (because honestly, I need to kick my own ass into gear sometimes!). And with ADAW I’m giving up for a good reason, and besides I’m not giving up doll photography. I’m just giving up on forcing myself to do one photo shoot each week. I’ll still be doing the Adventurer’s Club and random shoots when I feel like it, and good thing Heather is giving us themes. I tend to feel inspired by the themes, and I try to challenge myself a bit, do something I haven’t tried yet.